Married Mondays - Personal and No B.S.

 Welcome to Married Mondays! I don't know if this is going to be a thing, but we shall see where it goes. Likely you're in a relationship if you're here and you'll have some of the same struggles we have had in our marriage. And if there is one thing I believe in whole heartedly is that we are worthy of love and belonging within our relationships. 

2020 was a hard season on us and we're all still grieving it and in it! Our brains are tired, we're emotionally tired. It's been a lot fam! Yes, I just said "fam" because you're here - in my private space of the world - you're fam. Welcome Cuz... anyway moving on...

V and I do not have the perfect marriage. What we do have is the most perfect imperfect marriage and it got here with work. Lots of it. Work doing all the things that take effort and empathy with lots of learning curves along the way. Now does that work just happen automatically? Heck no! Amazing things take time and energy! Amazing things need time and dedication. Most of all - great and amazing marriages need to be made a priority. 

Last week I was having a check in with a friend over the phone, because we're still in a no gathering state (sup, Covid in January 2021) and she mentioned that years ago I gave her some marriage advice that I had heard regarding seasons. Your marriage has seasons which indicate what times are best to work on it. If you're barely surviving and head above water - this isn't the time to dig deep and unearth every aspect of your life. You need to get to the dock or the shore if you feel like you're drowning and then once you're safe - start unpacking what you need to do. I had completely forgotten about marriage Seasons until she re-mentioned it.

It's January of 2021 and let's just say setting goals and dreams is weird, am I right? We have basically next to zero certainty of our world and we're constantly adjusting our expectations of what life is going to look like moving forward while at the same time trying to stay in the present moment. And if you're one of my couples from 2020 or 2021 - we're all in a anxious state of - is the dance floor coming back to BC this here or are we dancing in our zoom rooms? 

One of our January goals as a couple is to dig deep into connection with one another and I was thinking I'd share some things that seem to be working for us. If you're feeling disconnected from your partner, I'm not saying this will absolutely 100% work, but for us - it sure is! We've set a weekly goal of trying to do an activity together, so far it's been making a point of going on a walk together despite it being winter. It's something so easy to do that is quality time together, we're walking and valuing our health together and fun tid bit, we're walking in the same direction - together (totally robbed this gem from John Gottman). I love that idea. 

We've also set a goal of a date night a week. Data shows that happy couples make date nights a priority once a week. Now, I scoffed when I heard this - thinking... "I see V every night, we eat dinner together, we watch tv or movies together - we don't really need a date night or are we already having a date night? But why don't I feel super connected?" The 'A Ha' moment - que the lit up light blub! I didn't feel super connected because we were 'together' but doing something separately.... watching a movie or tv, eating dinner and quickly moving along to the next thing, on our phones.... so here we are, trying to do a weekly date night. 

What does that look like? Well, we're testing out John Gottman's - 8 Dates.  I don't know if this is going to be ideal for all couples. To be honest, if you're in a real shit storm - this isn't going to cut it for you - seek a therapist asap. BUT - if you're just feeling disconnected from your spouse, this might be a great first step and I'll tell you why...

So far we've done 1 date and what I can tell you after that first week is I feel more connected to V than I have been in a long time in a different way that I don't know if I can fully explain it. We sat together on the couch and read the intro + date 1 and then flipped a coin to decide who would be planning Date #1. We picked a day and put it on the calendar and all week - I was getting legitly so excited for it. All the anticipation I felt I had missed since we were newly together dating! Come Friday night, I'm already excited and we did one of our other goals of an activity together and went for a walk at La Farge Lake in Coquitlam. They have it lit up still from Christmas till the end of the month. We were starting to pave the way to connection.

So V got it in the coin toss - he had to plan our first date. V solidly dislikes planning aka they just don't often happen unless I plan them. But he's in this with me and took care of our date night and nailed it. We followed the instructions in the book and he planned where we would go, what we would do, ample time and we brought the book to go over specific questions it asks you to do on these dates. He planned a date afternoon in woods - we went out to Goldenears Park and he brought wood for a fire at the day camp use area. He packed camping chairs, a blanket for me (I'm permanently cold always), snacks and made hot chocolate in our thermos. When he got the fire going, we sat and we went through the questions in the book and by the end of the date we felt connected and just kept rolling with that feeling. The date didn't end at the park but continued onto at home where we sat around together talking and then in our super awesomely budgeto inflatable hot tub for hours (yes, it's pretty rad and inexpensive hot tub for a 2020 pandemic purchase). It was such an awesome night to reconnect together. 

Another fun thing I've always wanted to do but finally purchased was Table Topics. I got a set for my parents this Christmas called "road trips" and my mom was raving about them. She said her and my dad started having some really great conversations with them over the holidays. I always wanted to buy a set of cards but never did until this month. We've done 1 or 2 cards a day randomly, sometimes at dinner or I've taken couple up to bed and we usually answer them while cuddling before we fall asleep. Another awesome way to connect or a great gift idea. Link here. - Table Topic's Couples Edition There's a whole bunch of Table Topics including family friendly, girls nights etc. I know for sure I'll be picking more up in the future.

Anyway, I don't know if this book or cards set would have the same effect for you as a couple, but hey, you never know and if you were feeling like you need to reconnect. Give it a go! See what happens. Investing into your marriage is always worth a shot and in the grand scheme of things $30 - is nada.

xoxo

Ashley

Dear Clients and Future Clients...

Dear Clients and Future Clients - 2014 a year in review, lessons learned and 2015


December came faster than I expected and we soaked up our first Christmas in our new home.  We turned technology off and soaked in each other. With the busy year behind us. I just wanted to soak in being with him. Laying in Verlon's arms and looking forward to 2015 and the adventures that 2015 will bring for our business, and ourselves. We enjoyed the silence during the holidays, watching movies and lazing about. It was a foreign concept for us as we hustled all of 2014. The business grew and we met so many amazing clients now friends. 

January hit me like a brick. Christmas and New Years were over and it was "back to life". With the inspiration of "Another Year Over -What did you learn?" and it was difficult to admit a lot of my struggles. The biggest thing I learned for 2015 is that we will cutting how many wedding we take on for this year. This year we're also getting married and I want to give the best to our 2015 clients but at the same time also enjoy our engagement and wedding planning. It took a lot of courage to turn away couples this year. But I knew I wouldn't be serving them as best as I can - which broke my heart. The admission to myself that I cannot do it all. It was the realization I'm not made of steel and can't keep going like the energizer bunny. 

2014 was one of my busiest years in the 8 years of being a photographer. I still can’t believe that 2015 will be my 9th year. January was my processing month. It was looking back and reliving the 2014 weddings through wedding albums and planning our year end get together. I wanted the words to come out right and I wanted to share the profound amount of gratitude I feel for having each and every one of you in our lives. You share some of the deepest, most intimate moments with us and I just want you to know - we value you so much. We care about you all - your relationships, your marriages and your family. A lot of the moments you honour us with capturing are once in a lifetime moments. Time. time what you will not get back but that you share with us. Time is such a precious commodity. You could share these moments with anyone but you choose with your heart to share them with me. I feel like I cannot even fully express how thankful we are for this trust you give to us and how lucky we feel. You aren’t just another couple we cross off our list once your wedding is done. If all of this sounds like gibberish to you and touchy feely - then close the page and we’re not your photographers. 

2014 was busy but I loved it. I loved meeting all of you and sharing in your stories. Learning about your relationships and learning about you both as individuals. Doing our best to be there for each and every one of you, should you need us in the in-betweens. Some of my favourite moments have been those pre-wedding meetings at our place where we just talk about how you all are doing before the wedding and if there is anything we can help with. 

When I started my business I was in university and I took a few courses and learned as much as I could about being a “good" business person. And realized I’m not all about business. I’m an artist and I want to share part of my heart with my clients. My heart is on my sleeve and delivered to you in your images.  I’ve learned a lot in 2014 about business and I learned how I am truly not a good business woman but rather a people person. And I love people and being able to give them something so special. I hope all our clients know how deeply we care about them and their marriages. We want you to thrive and I want you to have a different experience. We aren’t just providing a service but we actually care about you as people not just ‘clients'. This also comes into play when we first meet you at our “first date”. I love client “first dates” it’s seeing if we vibe together and will be helpful to you and your big day and all the in-between. I love the feeling after a meeting when we’ve connected and I go home just gushing over meeting such awesome couples. 

When I give your photographs over for your review a wave of anxiety always comes over me. I’m always nervously waiting and hoping that you love your photographs as much as I do. I give my best to you. I feel the honour you’ve given to me and want to translate those special moments into unique photographs. My art. My creative process. Doing my best to find the art in the moment, being vulnerable in those moments with you to dive into the creative process to find innovation and creativity. All this comes from your trust. So thank you. Thank you for trusting me. You are appreciated beyond words. You’ve all joined in going into this arena with me with trust and I’m so excited about the magic we will create and the magic we’ve already created. 

I just want you to know - I will always try to give you my best.

Summer Life and a Sensitive Side - Personal Post

I kept telling myself I would blog about my ordinary somethings at some point in spring... and somehow spring turned into summer and I hadn't managed to sit and write. I'd come up with themes and words that I wanted to get out on here, and nothing. I had been telling myself "there isn't the time" prioritize client shoots and eventually you can blog a personal entry. And had a client recently asked where my personal posts have been... so TA DA! I'm getting my word quota out today!

So I'm kicking myself in the butt today before I head out the door to meet my trainer. Yes, you read that correctly. I got myself a trainer her name is Meray at 'My Reward Fitness' (insert awesome plug here) and this is week 2 nutrition and fitness. I wouldn't ordinarily post about this but I figure if it's out on the big ol'interweb accountability to the internet gods will happen. I'm nervous and scared of this whole fitness process as I tend to neglect myself during wedding season. I put work first and eventually I would feed myself, or make excuses how I just could keep working longer and not go for a run etc. And I realized I was doing myself and my clients a disservice. We don't stop moving on a wedding day but now I won't feel tired afterwards. I have that extra energy for the end of the night when our clients ask us to dance with them, or stay and party and demand we put our cameras away. Like our groom a couple weeks ago handing me their hotel room key and saying "Go, Now, put the gear away and come back and celebrate with us".

I've always struggled with the self esteem in regards to body and I can't believe I thought I was over weight in high school. I wish I took that useless energy in believing how awful I looked and put it towards anything useful like this., how can you not love penguins in sweaters? But then University happened, and meeting a boy... and then eating like a boy... and well.. that usually doesn't go well, especially when said boy has a light speed metabolism. I managed to join a fitness group a couple years back and loved it, kept it up and then we bought our house (yes, an over due blog post about that too). And if you've bought a home you know exactly what I'm talking about with stress of looking constantly, and going to showings not to mention bidding wars, offers, inspections and all the joys that come along with buying a home. I really thought It would be more like the white picket fence experience and my house would look like the one from 'father of the bride'. Nay, Nay. Not in Vancouver (Fraser Valley). Our's is more of a 80/90's flare with the hint of "Reno Me" like a mini van with the words 'wash me' marked on the back window. But don't get me wrong I love our home. It's ours. And truly it's our first place of our own. But during said time, I was stressed to the max, nervous and we may have consumed more wine than ever, and felt down without the desire to take care of my self with fitness. But I'm back and feeling so much better, optimistic and eating clean!

So What's new?
 - We got a house!
- I'm attempting to become the fitness housewife - you know those ladies you see that leave the house all gym looking but are actually going to a gym in lycra.
- I'm cooking everyday - momma maria would be proud.
- I've been so inspired lately as an artist and so very excited for the weddings this summer
- We're photographing in Banff this winter - SO STOKED! I've always wanted to go to Banff!
- I know it's summer but I'm so incredible excited for Christmas at our place. It drives Verlon crazy when I talk about Christmas in the summer. Trees, wreaths, decorations and fireplace oh my!

So amidst all the busy, we've managed to keep up with each other and this past Canada Day, we were kids again, big kids. It was so nice to celebrate the holiday with each other and enjoy having our back yard. We were sitting outside and I asked Verlon what we should do, and he jokingly said "Waterfight" and I said "Your On". So out came the water balloons and our capture the flag game was born with the 'loser' having to clean ALL the bathrooms. I thought it was a very grown up strategy. I thought it was a good plan, till we tied, and ended up dunked in a kiddie pool, yes a children's pool may or may not have been purchased... without the kiddies. And it was in those moments that I just felt so thankful that I was blessed with a partner who 'plays' and wants to connect. With the summer nights being so lovely lately we've cuddled outside on our daybed till bedtime just listening to music. Those are my favourite kind of nights with my best friend.

So with that, my ordinary life that I feel is quite extraordinary is shared with you all. A tiny glimpse of us behind the scenes. Now onto prepping for tomorrow's wedding!

Finding our future home: Sharing My Heart

The past week was been filled with a lot of hard deicisions filled with uncertainty. And felt like my inactivity on the blog has been related to my head full of heavy weight decisions and unsure if this would be okay to share on here. But the blog is apart of my heart so here we go. We been on the search for our "new home" which hasn't been at all like I had imagined in my head. I had always thought when I was younger we would just drive up to this quaint little white house with the picket fence and green shutters, walk in and buy it and we would then call it home and que the 'happily ever after' sans house renovation. This whole process was so much more involved than I could have ever anticipate from contacting city planners, mortgage brokers, realtors, contractors and inspectors meanwhile praying about it. "Is this it?" I never thought it would be so hard, confusing and difficult and had hoped for "signs". Verlon and I jokingly were sitting on the floor with our cat 'Boo' saying if she licks her paw it means yes, tail means no. She did neither.

Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. ~Psalm 55:22

There's two sides to buying and selling a home but a very similar story on both sides a family who needs the funds. In an uncertain economy buying a home is scary. I have been frightened and what may come but so excited and ready to start our lives together in our home - wherever it may be. I feel ultimately that it isn't my decision but I'm leaving it up to God and the universe. I like to think the homes we have gone through and felt weren't the right fit or offers that fell through was just the universes way of saying "this isn't it".

I absolutely love the snow and during last weeks blizzard weekend, we got the news that the offer we put through on a house was accepted by two incredibly sweet people with big hearts. We had been exchanging letters throughout our offer/counter offer situation. And had learned about the sellers and we so excited to purchase from them given the character of people who owned the home. We kind of went with the idea, that there is a lot of love in this house and good people lived here - so this home will do the same for us. Much to our dismay we also found out this week the home had some major damages in the walls and I just caved with tears. When we found out the extent of the damages my heart broke for the sellers and for us. We started picturing our lives in this home. I was deciding where I would hang our future wedding photos and family photos. How one day, the office might look a little bit more like a nursery. A studio area for photography. The back yard with green grass where we would share memories with our family and friends. And a new home that we would make our own - our forever home.

We're currently in this odd limbo state now after notifying the sellers and I truly feel for them as I'm sure the inspection report isn't what they wanted to hear. I finally feel though with all of this, that if it is meant to be - it will be. And if it isn't I know that I could live anywhere with the man of my dreams, who has been so incredibly patient with my out bursts of emotion, stress and nervousness. I don't know what I would do without him. This whole process just solidified for me that a house is just a shelter, it only becomes a home when the ones you love are with you. My home is anywhere he is. Throughout this exhausting sometimes discouraging process, it has brought Verlon and I so incredibly close together which gives me great confidence that we can take on anything together. And we can live anywhere as long as we are together. I'm so excited to marry this man.

Verlon's photograph from the snow storm

2013 Farewell - Hello, 2014 - Year In Review

We drove in Verlon's car like we do most weekends and I hesitantly thought in my head - do I bother with a "Year in Review" posting? I wanted to start picking my favourite images of the last year but then realized it would be a 100+ photo list so I decided to write. I wasn't sure what to post about but thought it would be a good opportunity to do a personal post as our Wedding Season for 2013 - truly only ended at the beginning of December. Having a bit of a break was necessary! And my feet may have been dragging about blogging the last couple of weeks. Social Media felt like it was sucking my goal and a passionate love affair that I'm addicted to still. So, I signed off during the holidays and it was exactly what I needed. To come back in 2014 refreshed, energetic and ready to share - ideas, photographs, thoughts, write, musings and love.

So, Let the Year In Review Post Commences in writing! 

2013

The highs - lows - in-betweens

- Firstly just want to put a profound amount of love out there to our family, friends, colleagues in the industry for understanding, offering support over the past year when very little free time was available. The life of business' owners isn't always Gatsby Glamour & vacations. It's long hours, not a lot of free-time. Thank you. Thank you x100.

- Verlon, what a year it's been for us. Besides the obvious 'proposal, be my wife, yes, shiny ring' - I love you. This year for us has been such an adventure. We're getting married!!!(next year). Finding someone so incredibly passionate and full of adventure has been such a blessing. I have found the man of my dreams, who shares the same dreams of believing, faith, creativity, expression, self-awareness, love, giving and passion. We drove this weekend to a session together out of town and I couldn't help myself looking over to this man with goggly eyes and how I could be so lucky to share my dreams with him and him wanting to add to them. I love that your always ready for adventure, let's hope 2014 is filled with it.

- To our couples of 2013 - Wow.

You all have been so incredible. Sharing your love stories with us and choosing us to be apart of your big day is such an honour. Learning about you all, enjoying our meetings with you and keeping in touch. All the 'Thank You' cards are pinned in the office and I can't help but smile as we walk by them. Without you - we wouldn't be able to be wedding photographers. Thank You. Your support this past year helped us donate proceeds to BC Children's Hospital, and The SPCA. Thank You.

-Being consciously "GREEN"

This past year Verlon and I did our best to eat mostly Organic, non-gmo, unprocessed foods (without going nuts). Which help me lessen my footprint by eating more vegetarian meals, less meat and working towards healthier living with food. I never thought about it to much as I felt my body could run on anything - but why would I feed it crap? Then I had the analogy thrown at me about my car. My car takes premium gas, would I give it regular or mid-grade to save a couple bucks? No, I don't want to ruin the engine, so why was I doing it to my body? Why was I using "whatever" soaps, shampoos etc? My body will be affected. And I need to value it, and treat it with the respect it deserves.

- Whistler, Toronto Weddings & Maui

We were very fortunate to have some amazing clients (friends) - Kelsey & Tristan, Vruti & Dave (who just found out their expecting!!!) that took us to Whistler, and Toronto for their weddings. Travelling for Weddings always excites us as it's a different surrounding and the creative juices start flowing like crazy! Toronto made it possible for Verlon to meet my family in Toronto and then after the wedding we decided (due to geographical location) take time to hop over to Portugal. Also another huge thank you goes out to Bill & Maria for taking us with them to Maui as friends but we still had fun bringing our cameras with us and enjoying their first year anniversary as guests.

- Portugal

Verlon met my extended family, my grandmother and saw where my parent's grew up and where we spent a lot of time growing up when we visited regularly as a kid. It was so profoundly special for me to see my grandmother & the rest of the family again as it had been 2 years. Portugal has always been my 2nd home.

- A Hard Loss

When I first moved to Langley (2006) going to University, I needed a companion, que my fur baby 'Hades' the cat. I adopted him and he was my little office assistant and roommate during the days when I was home alone. This past summer during wedding season he past away and it was the first pet I ever had to go and leave at the Vet, while sobbing. The house has felt empty without him around but I treasure that special relationship I had him and all the cuddles. Animals can be very intuitive and it's very special to have that with an animal. I am very thankful.

- Welcoming 'the twins'

Our family welcomed Lydia & Landen to the family this past August to my brother Marco and SIL Kristi, and their first born - Aliza. Having a house full of babies and kiddos this past Holiday was so amazingly special. I am so grateful for being an auntie. Watching Aliza grow up has been profound - and hearing her say "I love you, Auntie" gives me the warm fuzzies. I love being an auntie!

- December's Random Acts of Kindness

In December during the busy, stressful end of year, hustle and bustle of Langley, I wanted to make an effort to try and make someone's day better or easier. Between simply holding a door open, sending a thankful message, acknowledging that their presence to me has had meaning (especially within our industry). The funnest of these was at the drive-through. Okay, it's not original but I've done it before, you've probably heard of someone who has done it - but paying for the car(s) behind you. The woman in the car behind me literally starting yelling out of her window to thank me and said "Bless you". Who thunk that $10 would really mean that much to someone.

2014

When we were driving on the weekend talking about our year and what are hopes would be for 2014, we didn't make resolutions but hopes and goals.

- Continue to living clean, green, exercising  & consciously, reading related literature & films

At the top of our list this new year we want to live as sustainably as possible with products, food, with everything. We want to continue and try more often to support local business' and new inventors, investing in our community. Continue to eat as Organic as often as we can and I'm going to be growing veggies again this year. I'm the cucumber queen (ok, it helps they're super easy to grow).

- Family Time, Scheduling, Relaxing

Taking a time out helps our creativity flourish and so every year we try to do so by trips (I love Hawaii!), mini trips (Whister, Osoyoos, Kelowna, Victoria) and gl-amping (drive to camping with air-mattresses, and coffee. Off a logging road in the middle of no where to ensure to cellular coverage). Taking time to recharge as a couple is really important for us. We plan to continue to take trips every year, small or big. Family and Friends: Try to spend more time with them, visit regularly, and help when we can. Especially my mom, here's hoping her surgery goes well this January *fingers crossed*.

- Silence Please, I'm Reading

When your reading, you cannot multi-task. This is why few people continue to read books where as technology allows us to do 50 things at once. Our plan is to read more often. Verlon so far is winning at books, where I prefer articles (Vogue count?).

- To refrain from outsourcing our Editing, & Limit our weddings per year

We choose not to. I am A-Type therefore I want to have control and give personal touches on each of the images so it is still at the end of the day, our images and keep it consistent. We will continue to make time to do so and keep our awesome (realistic) time line of delivery going:

-Massively awesome teasers in 1 week ((see any session blog post)), 

-then 4-6 weeks during peak season for the rest of the images) 

while maintaining a personal touch on every image delivered. 

Limiting our weddings ensures we can a.)- do the above b.)-maintain relationships with all your awesome people c.)- be effective with the business so we don't go crazy and maintain quality

- Editorials

Last year we had the chance to set up a fantastic styled-editorial in Portugal and I want to continue to make time to let my creative juices flow! This year Verlon wants to do the same so stay tuned for his photographic-editorial shoot. We have big plans for 2014 on the creative-end.

- Cooking like my momma Maria

I'd like to cook more meals at home - meaning 'I'. Verlon cooks most of our meals and I'd like to turn a little bit more like Momma Maria - the portuguese chef. My mom is such an awesome cook and I'd really like to say I inherited her skill but I haven't. I'm not a creative genius in the kitchen but I'm going to do my best to be better at it this year.

That was a peak at some of our goals - let us know about yours! comment below or comment on Facebook.

Here's to a Happy New Year!

We're Engaged: Ashley & Verlon

Dear Internet - this is going to be a long one.

You have been my loyal friend, keeping me connected to friends and family with the nifty invention of Facebook. I've shared lots with you about myself, my heart and my love but I've kept one thing from you & Dragonflight for the past three weeks. Now that all our close family and friends know...

 We're both so excited to announce that Verlon and I are engaged!!!!

July 15th, In the afternoon he royally surprised me! I didn't see it coming. I feel like I haven't fully registered yet that we're engaged. We left that Friday for Vruti & Dave's wedding in Toronto then onward to Portugal we went for a blissful two weeks of visiting family, an editorial and quality time soaking up the sun on the beach.

I've known Verlon for 8 years and never would shave guessed we would end up here. I've never been happier than when I am with my best friend. Things are natural and I always get butterflies in my tummy with him. My supportive, loving and encouraging partner and I cannot wait to be his wife. God truly played a part in us finding each other and timing it all. 

In the late afternoon on a Monday - a rose, card and dress arrived at my door. At first I was almost certain the delivery man had the wrong address. Here I am in my sweats, editing away, preparing for leaving on our trip and there's this card that read:

"Hello my Princess! A Chariot will await, don't be late. 7pm. 

Wear The Dress! I can't wait to see you!"

Oh my gosh! My hair is a mess, I haven't showered - I didn't anticipate I was going anywhere but editing from home, how am I going to pull myself together!!! Frantically I began my girls beauty OMG must get ready go time regime. Trying to pull myself together in an attempt to match this beautiful princess dress he picked - while bouncing off the walls with excitement. Verlon always calls me his Princess, yes, please sprinkle some cheese on it. I tore apart my closet trying to find the perfect shoes. While getting ready, being the cheeseball I am, I had "Sweet Home Alabama" the movie with McDreamy and Reese playing in the background getting me all excited. 7pm rolled around and I was ready. A black sedan came to pick me up with the sweetest Italian chauffeur taking me to my surprise destination.

Up the long drive beside the rows of vines, my prince charming was waiting with roses. He opened my door and escorted me around the vineyard to a specific apple tree. I couldn't believe it, he had decked out this tree like a setting in a romance novel. I was in shock and full of giggles. He led me over to the table where he had some of my most favourite things - Paris Macaroons, sweet tea and wine (I usually only have one glass before my stomach gets upset and I adore sweet tea as we can't get it in Canada, only the US). Hanging in the tree was a chandelier swinging in the breeze that I had wanted months ago for my office.

I'll be honest and as I try to write this blog post, I can't remember the exact words he said - I was in shock, giggle, 'this is seriously happening' head space. Verlon knelt to the ground and asked me if I would marry him and that's what I remember vividly. Que - ear to ear grin, and too many giggles and a yes!

It was important to Verlon that no one be around when he asked. Afterwards, with a quick phone call to let them know it had happened, our friends came and met us at the vineyard and we had wine and enjoyed the evening followed by dinner at one of our favourite restaurant in White Rock - Uli's. 

Dayne Cody - our awesome associate photographer took all the photos of Verlon and I together. For all of you who know Dayne, he's still recovering from his fall last summer but is on the mend.  Dayne, your always so dependable and have always been like family to us. Thank you so much for capturing such awesome photos for us. Thank you for your friendship through the years and hopefully after you heal up, this will not be the last of your days with Dragonflight. 

Verlon also made sure to get some photographs and I'm so very thankful for them so we could show our family at home.

Since we were leaving Friday morning to Toronto we wouldn't have a chance to see either of our families since they're not local. All we really knew is we wanted to announce our engagement in a fun way/different way. We had talked about doing a quick video that night, but just a quick thing at home, no big deal. But then we found out that the apple orchard was going to be turning into more vineyards and we thought how perfect it would be for something more to remember it by before they cut down the orchard. With luck and amazing talent from a friend of mine, Breanne Jansen from Fancy Feat filmed our big announcement the next evening. I was so excited to have a chance to wear the dress again and it was fun to just play around with Verlon, dancing under the tree, cuddling - finally somewhat sinking in it was real. I'm so grateful for Breanne working with us and making such an awesome video - Breanne, your talent is amazing and I hope you have a fantastic school year in Idaho - thank you so much for time, effort and everything you did. This means so much to us.

Special Note: Dayne & Shelley got in engaged last week! Verlon and I would like to just make a quick announcement to Congratulate them too! I'm so incredibly excited for these two, and my new and sweet friend Shelley. Wish you both all the best!

The Dining Room

With the buzz of the release of The Great Gatsby by director Baz Luhrmann , I feel like I've been swept away into day dreaming of courtly estates, brilliant shiny things from Tiffany & Co., and gorgeous dresses that ooze the art deco and crystal brilliance of the time. I know that the movie was different from the book - as always - but I did truly appreciate the look and feel of the movie for more than one reason. Had the chance to chat with two wedding industry pro's this week and we talked about the wedding industry, trends and futures and both, including myself agree that 'Gatsby' is the next big thing. Even though Gatsby, crystals, silver trays, dainty decor never really has gone away (IMO). All of it excites me and takes me back to my childhood and I thought it would be perfect to make an announcement here on the blog.

Yes, I was a child of the late 80's/early 90's but my parents had characteristics of 'old world' heritage. My mother and father came from nothing - their childhoods were spent sans electricity or modern day technology - dictatorship in Portugal during their upbringing. They had simple lives - relied on family as a core, valued tradition and had traditional roles. Their mothers would manage the household and the children, while their father would take care and provide for the family. My father joined the army as a young man - I have a black and white photograph of him in army fatigues complete with aviator glasses ( my father was somewhat 'cool' he had Raybans). After returning from tours, he went back to Portugal married my mother - penny less. And this part makes me incredibly sad - they couldn't afford a single photograph of their wedding while in Portugal. I've always wondered what it would have looked like, what they wore, who was there and what they looked like then. This is an exceptional reason for couples of this day and age to make an album - not only a disk (look what happened to floppy drives… say what?). 

My father's family was already in Canada, and my mother's brother was in Toronto - they both visited in the past, but settled on moving to the west coast. Another island to be specific (really, left warm Atlantic, for Pacific?). But I thank them, they gave us such opportunity by being fearless and starting from scratch. My father had apprenticed as a framer and delve right into construction. After years under his belt he started his own company (runs in the family) and began being a contractor. Which leads me to my childhood home. The Brick Home on Boulderwood, I never fully appreciated. 

My mother's cover story could have been that she was raised in a stately home who entertained regals and political leaders. Not only could she imagine up amazing meals, but my father and mother entertained weekly. The house was situated on a hilltop, suburb where finely manicured lawns and gardens were trophies of the area. It was on a corner lot (no, not acreage, and not an estate) but it was brick faced and I loved it. Through the double front doors were two colonial pillars on either side of the entry giving sight to the open second story entry. Wood floors shined under the protectant glaze; with a formal dining room to the right, and the formal parlour to the left, and my father's office door tucked near the front entry. The dining room is really where this story begins. With two double glass doors with birds of paradise flowers etched into them (that was the thing in the 90's) it gave way to the beautiful dining room furniture my parents slowly acquired (and still have) with ornate designs, a china cabinet, and there once was a bar trolly off to the corner that I absolutely loved as a child. I would always play 'hostess' with it to my mothers dismay. In the china cabinet crystal glasses shined from the sun as it shone through the bay window. These were only used when entertaining guests, special events and holidays (they had to be washed by hand). 

We weren't rich, but my parents came from nothing and had aspired for fine details and keep sakes. As my mother reminds me constantly "this will all be for you".

Every week growing up I remember my parents friends would come over and one of the many elaborate table cloths would be dawned on the long table, matching dishes placed in the perfect spot, the best cutlery and matching napkins under each place setting. My favourite cutlery my mother has is gold plated, I used these in the latest feature that was on Wedluxe - Glitter and Gold. Every meal was fantastic, and I always looked forward to tea after the meal with desert. My mother was born to be a hostess. I never fully appreciated all of it, until recently. We would play cards for hours, father would bring out the best brandy or Grand Marnier that would be sipped in the small crystal glasses, accompanied by some sort of amazing cake my mother decided to make that day. Their friends would always dress up for the occasion between dress clothes, Sunday bests and mother would always encourage me to wear a dress (at the time I hated dresses). My siblings always tried to get out of the weekly dinners, being boys and older they would find their way out of it, except on holidays. 

But every holiday I always looked forward to the dining room dinners and company. Between choosing between my mother's many sets of dishes, the table cloth colours that I often got to choose and helping set it all up alongside with my mother. The cooking didn't much interest me but I loved putting pretty things together, or picking the flowers that would be on the table, candles and or place settings. I didn't mind being the only child amongst the adults, and would often look forward to being apart of the card games and enjoying the whole event. The card games I can no longer remember, but I can recall the moments with the people (okay and some decor). 

Which leads me to my announcement - my childhood obviously has played a role in sending me down this avenue of photography but also inspiration the dinning room as been an inspiration for editorials I have worked on in the past . I will be launching Dragonflight Stationary and Design this summer officially. Elegant stationary for weddings and events to add a little special something to your event. To bring the formal elegance to the wedding day. There is nothing like receiving an envelope in the mail containing a special invitation or hand written letter. Gatsby reminded me of the many meals my family has shared together in the dining room and the beauty of connection over a meal which is very similar to a wedding day. Stationary can be so elegant and add to the feel of any event along side your decor at a wedding. But as I mention all this, it doesn't matter about all the details - a wedding day is about your marriage. A room can be beautiful but no good at all if it doesn't have loving people, supportive friends and family to fill it with. The dining room we celebrated dinners in when I was a child was beautiful because of the memories made in it, with the people.

Nita Lake Lodge Wedding 12-12-12 in Whistler

What a fabulous way to end the 2012 wedding season! Yesterday marked our last wedding for 2012 at Nita Lake Lodge in Whistler, BC. It was a beautiful snowy day and I was so glad to have been apart of Moya & Arie's Wedding.

2012 has been such an amazing year. I've met so many couples and connected with them over time. Celebrating 2012 couples wedding days, and meeting new 2013 couples always reminds me how blessed I am that I am apart of a cherished day for many couples. Marking the end of this years season has been bittersweet. Ending a fabulous year to start again anew. Hopefully running into 2012 couples in the future, enjoying new brides turned friends and welcoming the new 2013 couples!

Yesterday morning prior to the wedding we went for a walk around the lake and I quickly took this instagram of the view from Nita Lake Lodge. Snow just has this magical feel to it. Even though it may be cold, it still makes me want to be outdoors surrounded by it. It also adds to the whimsical feel of the holidays. I'm so excited to go back home for the Christmas holidays with our families and enjoy some good food, friends and laughter.

Taking the Brides to the Spa 2012

THANK YOU &

Merry Christmas to my Brides!

I wanted to make sure my brides knew how special the were to me and hence the 'Bridal Spa Day' was born. I sent out the invite to all the brides and was so glad that some of my brides could make it! It's hard to get everyone's schedule to work together, and brides who are from out of town but with excitement in my heart we gathered this past weekend to get "our nails did". We exchanged stories of what we were up to these days, Christmas plans, and how everyone was doing. The brides had a chance to meet each other and even commented on how they were following my blog and recognized each others photographs. 

Breakfast at Tiffany's played in the background as we sipped our sparkling cider, picked our colours and laughed away the afternoon. My girls are amazing and I'm so glad to have been apart of their big days. I look forward to keeping in touch with them and hearing about their adventures in the future. 

It was awesome to see all my brides again and I had fun spoiling them with a manicure! To my brides who couldn't make it - I hope you both have an incredible holiday and I wish you could have been there!

The Honest Truth and the Power of Snow

This morning I woke up to the pounding of heavy Vancouver rain outside on the roof and the constant grey sky of it being 4 o'clock all day (for those of you who will never experience 'day light savings' it gets dark way too early here in winter). And started my morning routine:

- step one - coffee.
- step two - load up the laptop and see the emails and daily feeds.

PART ONE: Simple - Jeans &  T-Shirt

I called my couple that is scheduled for their engagement session later this afternoon to confirm or reschedule (due to the intense rain) and she told me that they wanted to stick with today but they are simple and easy. That thinking about what to wear made her anxious. And it got me thinking because I did a post about clothing for your engagement session and honestly it doesn't apply for every couple. And that's awesome because you know who you both are and what you care about. I don't care if your in jeans and white t-shirt as long as you feel beautiful. I say this to all my couples and especially the bride - 'do whatever it is you need to do, to feel beautiful'. If that means putting your hair in a pony tale and wearing your favourite glasses, do it.

Because... it's not about what you wear that will create emotion. It's about the two of you creating emotion. I have a rule that I tell my couples on their engagement session - you need to touch for the entire session. Whether that be holding hands, or if the groom wants to rest his hand on the small of her back. Touch. I usually get the best burst of laughter and giggles when I state the rule, and then comes my favourite photos of the couple.

The power of touch can set you at ease, bring comfort and above all relax and connect you. That electricity that flows through each of you while you hold hands, hug or kiss - that creates emotion. And I'm addicted to seeing true emotion.

Part Two: The Machine & All Things Vintage

One of my favourite photographers posted a link to a AU photographer's blog titled 'The Mason Jar Manifesto' and her response and it got the wheels in my head turning. Especially after talking to my bride this morning.

"I have been extremely discouraged lately at the direction of Wedding Blogs and publications only wanting DETAILS...it's not about the story of the couple, or the beauty of the emotion caught on film. They want to see the flowers in a vase, a vintage plate, a bouquet sitting on a vintage chair. As a wedding photographer...that does NOT inspire me. When my clients look back 30 years from now at their wedding images, which images are going to evoke emotion and nostalgia in their hearts...it's not going to be the shot of her shoes on a pillow." - Amanda K Photography

I love details and I can totally overdose on shiny things, crystals and lace. I love photographing the details and stylizing all those special things put together because they relate to you as a couple. I was first published in a wedding magazine, and I felt like it somehow legitimized my career choice. Finally, I was recognized for being a photographer. I received the magazine and the photos in it were nothing I would have chosen, only two photos were about emotion between the couple, and the smallest. The rest was details. Mind you they were gorgeous and beautiful details. Over the years now, I've been published in various publications and blogs and the big thing are 'The Details'.

When I read the post - I found myself relating to the couples saying one of two things; firstly - we're just simple and going to have a simple wedding, no extravagant details or two - what publications to submit their engagement session and wedding and how they can stylize their engagement session for publication. I've had couples like Jonas mentioned being slightly ashamed that their wedding wasn't 'over the top' and thinking I wouldn't enjoy photographing it.

I LOVE YOU ALL REGARDLESS.

That's it. Your wedding isn't another job, it's special for me too!

My favourite part of photographing the wedding day is the couple portraits, the one hour I get to spend with the two of you is my favourite. It's the most real and I love it. It's watching a fairy tale in front of my camera. The emotions that are had during that deep breath of relaxing when you can just deflate into the arms of your love, or hold hands and know that your each others - that is what it is all about. And that is why majority of my photographs on my blog & Facebook aren't of the details (even though I absolutely love details and things that personalize) - most the photos are portraits of each of my couples.

If you love details, and you always play scrabble as a couple - it makes sense if you want to personalize it. If you always go for picnics together, fishing, at home on the couch watching movies with popcorn - it's apart of who you are as a couple. But don't buy into the trend if it doesn't apply. I am a graphic designer and photographer and I love special details. I love personalized invitations and little extras and I probably will do some of this for my wedding and absolutely work with a planner so I don't go into DIY coma one day. But at the very core of it - it's about finding your teammate and who you want to play this game called life on your side. You are planning a marriage not just a wedding.

Verlon and I joke around all the time that one day we will just go to the court house. Mind you I picture it very much like Big & Carrie's wedding from Sex and the City - including the shoes. And it's because all I really want is the love of my life and nothing else compares to it.

Part Three: Love & Snow

We were in Whistler this past weekend and it seemed like the odds were not ever in our favour. We had car trouble, hotel trouble, and terrible weather for the beginning of it. I photographed one of my couples there and it was incredible. It felt like the only thing that went right despite the weather. I spent the next hour or so with this amazing couple and was wrapped up in photographing their love. Time stopped for me. We wandered the Village Stroll in the POURING rain and they still were smiling. And all that mattered was the emotion between these two, and excitement for their wedding. The rain only kept pouring harder and it was cold and I asked them - can we lose the umbrellas - are you okay getting wet? They closed their umbrellas and got soaked. Her once curly professionally styled hair drenched in water falling around her face. His jacket littered with rain drops. And nothing mattered because she was wrapped in his arms and they danced, they kissed, they hugged in the rain, in the middle of the square. That was their engagement session, and I was lucky enough to photograph it. Thank You.

After returning to the hotel (fearing at this point we didn't have a room... long story folks) I knew that if nothing else happened this weekend - I was where I was suppose to be and the highlight of the weekend was that amazing session.

The day went on and we sipped our favourite wine - 'Moon Curser'. Our friends who joined us - Dayne & Shelley supplied good company and more wine. And at about 12 am we were playing music outside on our balcony watching the Village and loving the Christmas lights on trees. It grew late into the 'morning' and Verlon and I found ourselves alone outside with one of our favourite songs playing on speakers and it was snowing. I slowed dance with my best friend in the snow and nothing else mattered - all we needed was each other.